Parenting can be a pretty humbling gig.
Either you’re at the stage where you are constantly wiping your child’s butt and have snot scraped across your clothes or you’re at the stage where your child vocally shares their distain in your fashion sense, parenting decisions and music taste, making you feel 100 years old.
Whatever your stage of parenting, we know it can be a tough and thankless job at times, but we know you’re turning up everyday and putting your child’s needs above your own, and we think that is EPIC.
No matter how well you feel you are doing, we think you’re doing a GREAT JOB!
To remind you of what an incredible impact your everyday actions are having on your children and teenagers, we have put together some of the research about the impacts of parenting:
The stats don’t lie!:
Talking: For some parents that may sound so ordinary that it could hardly make a difference, and for other parents with reserved and introverted teenagers, that may sound incredibly difficult. Whatever your relationship with your child, your everyday conversations with them are game changers. Research says, “Students whose parents regularly talked to them were two-thirds of a school-year ahead in science, and even after accounting for social background, the advantage remains at one-third of a school year.” (https://www.bbc.com/news/business-39577514) What may seem like just a casual conversation about their day, is a great opportunity for your teenager to process what is going on in their world and even ask your advice when they need it. When casual conversations are the norm in your relationship, they are far more comfortable to bring up difficult subjects and seek support when they are struggling with school, relationships, emotions etc.
Belonging: By just being there for your children and giving them a place they belong (whether they seem as though they like belonging to your family or not), you are providing them with security that studies have found decreases the likelihood of the onset of chronic disease, disability, mental illness, and death. (http://www.uniteforsight.org/gender-power/module1#_ftn1) They may not always be openly proud to share your last name and postal address in public, but the fact that they have a family to come home to and be known by, is doing more than you know to protect them physically, mentally and emotionally!
Encouraging: It may seem like water off a duck’s back when you encourage your child or teenager and tell them how much you believe in them. They may shrug it off and make you feel like you’re annoying and embarrassing, but your encouragement is actually shaping their views of themselves and giving them the confidence to face each day. Research shows that girls’ whose parents remind them to trust their abilities are 21% less likely to report feeling anxious about school. (https://www.bbc.com/news/business-39577514). When they tell you how badly they did in a test or share their disappointment in a performance, your response, positive or negative, is informing their inner voice. Keep up that encouragement and support, whether you get a good reaction from them or not! As you can see, even your simplest, ordinary and everyday actions are bringing out the best in your child or teenager and until the day they work that out and thank you, we are here to say ‘keep up the good work!’
Post by Cassie Kirtisingham. More resources for Teenagers and Parents @izra.com.au
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