No doubt all of us want our children to become the best that they can be. We want our kids to be the best emotionally, the healthiest, and the best socially and in some families best at sport, or music or debating. That is pretty much a parents’ heart, we want them to succeed.
What if we realised for our children to succeed, you actually need to be the best you, that you can be. What if we worked on our own lives to become the most contented, secure and well-adjusted person that we could be?
We all know that when things get out of hand for us, the kids are affected. When we get too busy, or worn out, or hung up with our own emotional baggage, it shows up in their behaviour and the atmosphere of our homes.
Our kids need us to be the best that we can be.
Here’s a few things to think about and see if you are giving your kids the best Mum or Dad they can have.
1/ Don’t overcommit. This is such a danger in our society. It takes time, and energy to raise a family. Don’t schedule yourself out of your kids, lives. Make work, leisure, and family commitments fit it together in such a way that it leaves you fresh and available to those precious kids. Although we all feel time poor, some serious examination of our schedule may reveal it’s a matter of priorities, discipline and choices. If we are watching TV, or playing computer games then we do have time, we are just choosing to do something different with it. For the sake of the family, focus on them. Turn off the electronics, come home instead of staying late at work, and change social habits to include the kids. (They won’t be around forever, just ask your Mum and Dad about that!) Make choices with your time that leave you available and approachable.
2/. Get help. If you have areas in your life that are messed up from things that happened to you in the past, if you have an anger problem, or addiction issues, if you have fears that overwhelm your nights, get help. See a professional and work things out so your kids have the best parent you can be. It isn’t always easy to ask for help, to admit our failings, but it’s certainly worth it. For the sake of the children and their future, get help. Don’t struggle through life or doing family, there are great services and wonderful resources to help any of us through the rough patches. There is no shame in having a problem, but there is shame in doing nothing about it. Let those issues end now, and not be passed on to another generation. Find wholeness and become the parent your children deserve.
3/. Build for the future. Have a plan for your family and work it. Does that sound strange? If you are building a house, there’s a plan. An imagination of how you want it to look at the end, and a detailed drawing of how to make that happen. There hasn’t been much of value built by someone who said ‘we’ll just start and keep going till the end and hope it works out to something ok.’ We would think that a big waste of time and resources, yet with our family that is what many of us do. I encourage you to think, dream and imagine what sort of family you hope to build? What sort of young people do you want to watch move out of your home to start their adult journey? What sort of attributes do you want to build together and enjoy, eg. Respect, honesty, open mindedness? When we decide where we want to end up, it’s always easier to plan the trip.
So think today about the type of parent you can be for your kids, and make a decision to become the Best that You can be.
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