Ever been to a house where there is a pile of shoes at the front door, and when you knock, you kind of know that although the lovely lady who answers the door probably won’t say anything, you better be taking your boots off and leaving them with the others? You are responding to that lady’s expectation.
You are taking a cue from the actions of others without any words being said.
Ever walked into a funeral service and before the proceedings start, although people are free to talk to each other and catch up, there’s an unspoken expectation of quiet, so everyone eithers sits quietly or whispers? There is no statement of expectation, no fear of punishment, but a large group of people behave in an ‘expected’ way.
Have you ever wondered what expectations you put on your children and how they respond?
In school children are expected to sit and listen in class, and then work quietly and independently, although surrounded by their peers. They do actually learn to do that eventually- most of the time. Those same children out with their parents often can’t (or don’t) sit still at all. Children can learn from a young age to put toys away and to pick up after themselves, but their behaviour is often a result of the expectations you place on them.
How do your expect your kids to behave?
In our house we didn’t talk about or ‘expect’ the terrible twos, or assume that year 9 is the worst year of a teenagers life! We got through the times that could have been tough, by expecting acceptable, age appropriate, behaviour.
Often our kids, and our spouse, and us, are capable of far more than we actually do. We are all capable of being a blessing instead of a liability if only someone would expect the best from us.
Let’s start expecting acceptable behaviour from our kids instead of excusing rudeness and slackness as a symptom of their age and stage. Let’s start allowing them to rise to new levels of maturity by expecting, (not demanding!) normal courtesies, even at home. Let’s start expecting our kids to say please and thank you, to be kind to their sibling and friends and to be a joy to parent rather than a drudgery and a difficulty.
They may surprise you when they rise to the occasion.
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